If a face could launch a thousand ships
Back in my BPI days we had a group activity, paint ball (simulated war zone in Antipolo). After the tiring day, K, a former colleague, and I traveled back to Cavite riding in a regular paying bus, inshort, air cooool.
Unfortunately for us, it’s a standing room only. So, there we were, tired, with a lot of things to carry (I was carrying one of K’s bags) and we have no choice but to stand inside a crowded bus.
Now add another factor to the challenge: The driver seems to be an alumnus of the Jess Lapid stunt driver’s school. He stops and goes as he pleases. Great!
During one big halt, I lost my balance and tried to grab the top part of the passenger’s seat next to me. I was trying to balance two big bags plus K and myself. I tried to grab K with my left arm and grabbed the part of the seat where the seated passenger next to me was leaning on with my right hand. Unluckily for the passenger, I accidentally grabbed his face. I knew I was holding his face but I cannot let go because if I did, I would have dropped on the floor. Imagine his face carrying all the load of K, the bags and me.
After that, the passenger slowly looked up to me and then bowed (as if in self pity). I apologized for doing such a horrible thing to him.
Funny Bank Moment # 5: Cosmetic Surgeon
Funny Bank Moment #5
Anna, one of your typical tellers, married with two kids, was approached by a client yesterday and suddenly cut in, “Ay! May asawa ka na pala.”
Quite surprised she asked, “Pano po ninyo nalaman?” Thinking that they have a common friend or that she doesn’t look like one.
“Eh kasi buntis ka oh,” while pointing to Anna’s stomach.
Anna turned from shiny, smiley, happy face to plain blank non-reacting poker face’ expression , “Hindi po ako buntis.”
“Ah! Ganun ba? Magpa-lipo ka na sa amin.” If that is not a tag line to do sales for a cosmetic surgeon I don’t know what else is.
After the client left, Anna told everybody, “Gusto ko na ngang gilitan sa leeg, eh.”
“Dapat sinabi mo, ‘Mam, bawal po kasi kami mag-mura ng kliyente, sa labas na lang po tayo ng branch’,” added one of us.
Simbang Gabi
Ate Richie, not fond of going to church has a long history of not so good experiences inside a church…
Back when she was seven (or six) years old, she and my mom went to a simbang gabi. Nanay dragged her (woke her up, dressed her up and literally dragged her to the church).
During the homily, she was really uncomfortable standing (they were apparently late) during the mass. She asked nanay, “Nay, uwi na tayo?”
“Mamya na,” replied nanay.
“Pag di pa tayo umuwi, sisigaw ako.” said ate Richie.
“Eh di sumigaw ka.” nanay confidently answered thinking ate Richie would spare her the embarrassment.
Ate Richie felt challenged immediately screamed, “MALAKI K*K* NG NANAY KO!”
Nanay covered ate Richie’s mouth (and grabbed her by the ear) and ran towards the door.
Funny Bank Moment #4: Social na Cliente
A client was filling up an application form in the Branch. I noticed that she forgot a field to answer so I said to her, “Ma’am, may naiwan po kayong fill up-an.”
Quite surprised she answered, “Ay, sorry ha. Di ko kasi nakita, naiwan ko yung MIRROR ko.”
Mirror- Salamin? Ah! Glasses.
Expected Date of Arrival
Expected Date of Arrival: January 5, 2007
Expected Time of Arrival: 5:30 AM
Or is it January 6, 2007?
Ate Richie was expected to arrive at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport this morning, January 5, 2007. My Mom, Dad and Sister (Tem) all went to the airport and left our house as early as 4:00 AM expecting ate Richie to arrive.
At around 8:00 AM they called up the house and asked if ate already arrived because her plane hasn’t landed yet and there seem to be no flight arriving yet from LAX. Nanay suggested I should call ate Richie’s husband (Kuya Mark) in the US for confirmation but their number is on answering machine mode.
They finally decided to ask the Information Area of the airport (wherever that is) and it was confirmed: Ate Richie’s flight wont be arriving until tomorrow morning, 5:30 AM January 6, 2007 Manila Time.
Oh well! We guess ate Richie gave us the wrong flight detail: How can you arrive in Manila the next day if you flew out from Cincinnati the day before (we don’t have that technology yet)? They just have to do it ALL again tomorrow. Kawawa naman.
Who’s the Boss Again?
I asked the Area Head of Banco De Oro Cavite, “Ma’am, may production ata ang SM Molino Branch? Tawagan mo ma’am I-confirm mo.”
The Area Head taken aback at what I said answered, “Tawagan mo. Inuutusan kita.”
“Oo nga no? Bat kita inuutusan? Sige ma’am tawagan ko na.” I answered.
Unlimitext
When I first discovered the power of the unlimitext messaging I sent this message to my Globe friends:
UNLIMITEXT AKO! UNLIMITEXT AKO! UNLIMITEXT AKO!
And sent it a lot of times (around 20 per friend), just to give them a hard time deleting the message. Mau, a former colleague, replied: “ORLEE, TANGERKS KA, SMART AKO. UBOS NA LOAD MO” Unlimitext does not cure stupidity.
Lesson
New Lesson:
“Ang taong nakayuko sa Jeep at nakatingin sa labas, NALILIGAW”
Great Plot
Film Fest Season is here once again and I was able to watch Mano Po (Gua Ai Di) with the guys. So after the movie we cant help but not think about Richard Gutierrez’ character’s career. “Wow!” said one of us; “You can win an award after one year by just going to Australia for a Scholarship?”
So we’ve decided to go to Australia – where everyone becomes rich and famous, apparently, after one year.
