Picture Guide #3
This is a double whammy so you could see that I am not lying! It is named as such! JETRON! Who would’ve thought that they could get away with it? It’s an obvious spoof!
Hosting Stint
I recently hosted Brillance: the 4th Bancassurance Awards night in Diamond Ballroom in Diamond Hotel last March 22, 2007. It’s an annual awarding of top Banco De Oro and Generali Pilipinas performers. I felt proud and ofcourse kinda boastful about it. My colleagues told me how good the hosting was. Then I felt, “Wow! Ang yabang ko naman!”
A few days later, during the Cavite Area Meeting, Mr. Ojie, Branch Manager for BDO Imus said to me, “Orlee, galing mo pala mag-host,” then I felt the yabang factor again.
I simply said, “Thank you, sir.”
He immediately said, “May kakilala ako sa Eat Bulaga! Gusto mo ipasok kita?”
Before I could even answer, he said, “kailangan kasi nila ng kapalit ni Jose.”
Orlee Dix
Bampira (noun) - Call center jobs.
Mag-franzen (adj.) - To pick ones nose. Example: H’wag kang mag-franzen dito. Kadiri!
Neg Ryan (adj.) - Phrase to describe a dark-skinned woman. As in maitim s’ya. Example: Ah! Si Nickei? Oo Neg Ryan.
Classic
“Patingin! Patingin!”
These are words I dread to hear when if ever I’ll use an ordinary camera (the one that still uses film), they would assume I was carrying a digicam but they should never assume. It is me on the losing end.
“Uhmm… Sige, tignan n’yo. Punta lang ako sa bayan, papa-develop ko for 1 hour tapos pwede nyo na makita.”
Sabado Chores
My teacher asked us back in grade 4, “Ano ginawa n’yo nung Sabado?”
Some of my classmates said, that they fed the chicken, helped clean the house, went out and play.
Some answered unrealistic answers just to suck up to Ma’am Aguilar because it was obvious that she was looking for the best helper in their household chores: “I helped my mom iron some clothes”, “I fed the world.” “I stopped a tsunami.” “I found weapons of mass destruction.”
I, the bibo kid that I am, answered honestly what I did that last Saturday, “Nagligpit po ako ng pinag-higaan.”
Ma’am Aguilar gasped… paused… and asked, “’Pag Sabado lang kayo ng liligpit ng higaan?”
I was raised in a house where the beddings were only made on Saturdays, during the general cleaning. I was confused so I answered, “Opo?”
Back home, I told my mom and dad everything, they said, “Bakit mo sinabing tuwing Sabado lang tayo nagliligpit ng higaan? (at pag may nanganak ng pusa sa kama <but that’s a different story>)”
“Eh, nay, malay ko bang sa ibang bahay eh, araw-araw sila nagliligpit ng higaan?”
My mom was very worried what Mrs. Aguilar thinks of her as a housewife (who doesn’t make her bed everytime she wakes up). Poor mom.
In memory of Mrs. Aguilar.
Picture Guide # 2
This was posted last week outside Imus Cathedral for a certain Medical Mission.
“Dental what?”
Dental Concert?
Dental Umbrellas?
Dental Girlfriend?
