Boy
Just arrived from Dos Palmas this afternoon. I was exposed to a lot of sun back in Palawan that I really became the darkest Baldedara to date.
I told my officemate, George, that it was ok to get dark in Palawan because, Hell! it’s Palawan! If I got dark from alot of sun exposure in Lido Beach, Cavite it would be a different story.
So anyway, my Tita Helen (mom’s cousin) dropped by our house early this evening, nanay immediately introduced me, “Eto nga pala yung anak ko, galing syang Palawan kaya s’ya ganyan.”
Pinangungunahan na. Baka mapagkamalang utusan.
Tag
We all know that Tag Heuer watches (Php 60,000.00) are stored in a large box (larger than it’s size).
Chona, during her boyfriend-girlfriend period with Pao, requested a “Uwian mo ako ng pasalubong from Makati” from Pao.
As Pao arrived, Chona asked, “Nasa’n na yung pasalubong ko?”
“Nasa kotse,” Pao answered.
After entering the car, Chona once again asked for the ‘pasalubong’. Pao handed her a box. Chona was expecting a usual pasalubong like bread or donuts. She thought, “I don’t need a swan figurine.”
“Ano ‘to? Figurine? Relo?” asked Chona.
Paw was dumb struck and thought, ‘How could she know?’ Pao asked “Pa’no mo nalaman?”
Chona asked, “’di ko naman kailangan ng alarm clock, eh.”
Pao pleased with the comment, and thought to himself ‘She still has no idea’ said, “Buksan mo na.”
Chona later realized that Pao gave her a Tag Watch. Bling!
I loved this line: Di ko naman kailangan ng alarm clock, eh.
Jap vs Phi
In the Philippines:
We drive on the right side of the road.
In Japan:
They drive on the left side of the road.
In the Philippines:
“Da-me” means many or a lot.
In Japan:
“Da-me” mean Bad. (Joker Arroyo’s Ad: “Pag Da-me ka, Lagot ka!”)
In the Philippines:
We shower atleast twice a day.
In Japan:
They shower at most once a day.
In the Philippines:
“Tem, magulo ba buhok ko?”
“Kuya, oo, magsuklay ka.”
“Ok.”
In Japan:
“Tem, magulo ba buhok ko?”
“Kuya, oo.”
“Ok.”
Reminiscing
I’m giving a highlight to this one year old photo:
Since I was in Vigan, Ilocos Sur, I asked kuya Pat, “Pa-picture ng solo?” for my kids to see in the future and say that Dad really was Vigan.
My wish was granted kuya Pat shot a solo picture of me, unfortunately everybody else wanted to be on it. Kuya Gene, Kuya Jhun and Paulo (bending beside kuya Jhun) on my right and Mayette and Agnes on my left.
Favorite Forwarded E-mail
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN PATIENT’S MEDICAL CHARTS at PHILIPPINE GENERAL HOSPITAL (PGH):
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
2. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
3. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. The patient refused autopsy.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. She is numb from her toes down.
10. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
11. The skin was moist and dry.
12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
13. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
14. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
15. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
16. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
17. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
18. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
19. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
24
Two kids were running around the branch this afternoon. To calm them down, I asked them how old they were and the little girl answered, “Three,” while bringing together her thumb and pointer fingers together. I asked the other kid (I guess the little girls older brother) the same question and he held up his five fingers up and said, “Five.”
“These kids are really smart,” I told myself.
“Ikaw? Ilang taon ka na?” the brother interrupted my thoughts. I felt challenged by this question. I held my ten fingers, flipped them back and forth, brought my left hand down and folded my thumb finger in my right hand and answered “Twenty-four.”
Dark
When I go swimming or just being out there in the fields, I can’t help (actually I can but my skin can’t) get tanned. I have this pinkish glow every time we go to an outing. (Tisoy and dating). But of course that is just the initial part of it, a day or two after, I get this purplish glow (eggplant?). So there I was Tall, Dark and Darker.
The last time I got dark was last weekend, my Dasmarinas Branch went to Rosario, Batangas for the branch outing. I tried to wear pink dress shirt and a red neck tie the next working day and one of the teller said, “Sir Orlee, anlakas ng loob mong mag-suot ng pink ah.”
Cheese
The Japanese people have a funny way of speaking their English. Instead of straight Hamburger they would say ‘Hambaga’. Instead of saying Thank you they would say ‘Sankyu’.
One time I watched a Magazine Show in Japan. It’s about a frequently visited zoo in Japan. A group of Japanese, around 15-20 people, was requested to pose for the camera. The photographer, to capture a smile from the group, asked them to say CHEESE! I should’ve been there to say to the photographer what was he thinking because after the shot, the picture developed have all the Japanese having pouted lips. Apparently, they all said “CHEESU”.
Picture Guide # 8
Dunno if this is a coinsidence but I find it hilarious that their Key Duplicate Business Name sounds like the Philippine Actress who played Darna.
Corazon
Nanay has been using her name since she could remember, CORAZON EUSEBIO. Just recently she decided to get a passport and one of the important documents needed to get one is your birth certificate.
She then realized, after getting one from the National Statistics Office that her real name is FLORAZON EUSEBIO.
Nanay’s documents were now invalid, all her ID’s, Titles and documents. She traced back why she used that name, and she found the suspect! My grandmother! Lola Pinang!
Nanay asked, “Nay! Bakit Corazon ang tawag nyo sa akin saka turo nyo na isulat ko sa eskwela eh Florazon pala ang pangalan ko?”
Lola Pinang defensively answered, “Eh mas maganda ang Corazon. Huli na ng maisip ko. Kaya Corazon parin ang tinawag ko sa’yo.”
GREAT!
Balikbayan
While landing I looked out at the window (I always choose a window seat), “Wow! Philippines! Na-miss ko to.”
My seatmate, we were talking already about backgrounds and everything asked, “Na-miss mo talaga, ha? Gaano ka ba katagal nawala?”
“8 days.”
Pusyaw
Japan’s weather was cold. Dry and cold. Really cold. My skin began craking up and I just loved picking up the dead skin on my face (sorry for those who just ate).
Picking up dead skin on ones face is like eating popcorn while watching a movie, you know you have to stop yourself because the popcorn will ruin your next meal but you can’t help doing it.
Anyway after three days of picking up those nasty dry skin cells (you want pictures?) my sister noticed that I had glowing red skin.
“Kuya, hiyang mo pala ang weather dito. Pumupusyaw na ang kulay mo oh! Mamulamula”
I snickered and answered, “Hindi yan mapusyaw. Dry skin yan, natutuklap.”
Picture Guide #s 4-7
I’ve collected and combined in one entry all my Japan Funny Findings. (Double click the pictures to enlarge)
I can’t seem to put my finger on it. There is indeed something wrong with this Japanese Signage.
Guardians What?
If only this was really a bar, but its not. It’s a kids wardrobe outlet store.
Chinese
Actress?
Lady Drivers
My younger sister, Tem, is more outgoing than I am. She learned how to drive the bike first than I did. She learned to drive a car before I did. She drag races (without our consent) with her drag racing friends in Macapagal.
One time driving to somewhere, Tem was my passanger, we got at the back of a slow moving private car (can’t remember the model). It was too frickin slow so I overtook it and checked out the driver. To no one’s surprise I said, “Kaya naman pala eh, babae ang driver.”
My sister immediately answered in a sarcastic voice, “BAKET? …BAKET? …BAKET?”
I forgot that my sister drives better than I do.
Promotion
“Ang saya-saya ko!” I told my friends.
They asked, “Why?”
“Kasi in-Announce kanina sa office ang mga promoted.”
Their face lit up and asked, “WOW! Na-promote ka?”
I knew they would ask that, I replied, “Hindi.”
“Eh, bakit ka masaya?”
“The fact lang na may promotion, masaya na ako.”
