Marco Sison Fandom
Ate Richie went to the Podium (the mall in Ortigas) as a first relaxing time outside the house after she arrived from the US.
She was sitting at Starbucks and saw Marco Sison! Yes! Marco Sison! She asked the 80’s (or was it 70’s?) star to pose for a photo op. I suppose being on the States for so many years blurs the idea of who is famous and who is not in the Philippines.
The next morning, she proudly told me of her proud achievement yesterday, “Choy! May kuha kami ni Marco Sison!”
I can only say, “Wow! Ate, sikat na sikat yan ah!” sarcastically.
Spoiling Harry Potter Part 1 of 2
***WARNING: Harry Potter Fans! Spoiler Ahead! Do not read if you haven’t read book 6.***
Reading Book 7 of the Harry Potter Series, Deathly Hallows, I can’t help reading the book quick enough to finish it in three days. People would ask me, "Why read it quickly?"
I simply answered, "Kailangan eh."
This is ofcourse basing from a previous experience, a few years ago, two years to be exact, I was reading, Book 6, Half-Blood Prince. I was reading it enjoyably.
It was all ok, I was almost done with the book, then Joy Dela Cruz texted me, "Mamamatay si Dumbledore!"
I was really pissed and asked her why text such a spoiler, she said, "Gumaganti lang ako kasi si Jiyanne (her cousin; a former classmate) tinext din sa akin ang ending."
Why transfer the anger to me? Why does her revenge be stroke on me? Stupefy!
I moved on from there. I told myself, nobody will spoil me the concluding book, HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS.
Challenge Question
A smart looking little girl sat in front of the Marketing Area in the branch. Fortunately, I was there to test her intelligence. I asked a simple question, she was about to answer in the middle of my question but stopped after I finished the question. Nini, the Marketing Assistant, laughed at the kid’s reaction.
You might ask, what was the question? It is simply: HOW OLD IS YOUR NAME? (I didn’t get to ask WHAT IS YOUR AGE?)
Adventures of Inday at ang Mahiwagang Kalamiyas
Inday, our weekly manicurist, asked for Nanay’s fruit bearing Kalamyas.
Tem realized that it was just had a pesticide treatment 2 days ago, asked nanay, "Nay, binombahan n’yo ba ang kalamyas? Eh bakit n’yo binigyan si Inday?"
Nanay simply answered, "Sinabi ko naman eh, humingi pa rin s’ya."
I wittingly joked, "’Pag di na bumalik si Inday sa isang Linggo, alam n’yo na nangyari."
Petition Follow Up
Previously on Funny Side of the Story: http://orleebaldedara.blogs.friendster.com/blogblogan_na/2006/12/for_petition.html .
Seeing a healthy Kulot lately, I can’t help but ask tatay “’di ba for petition si Kulot? Ano nang nangyari?”
Tatay wittingly answered, “Na-deny s’ya.”
Namesake
On the argument of naming my first nephew Don Miguel, Tem (Roxane) and I asked nanay, “Pa’no n’yo nga ba nakuha ang pangalang Orlando?” It was obviously a reversal of the first two letters from my father’s name Rolando but why ORLANDO?
“Sabi ko nga sa tatay mo, Jonathan bale ang pangalan mo para palayaw mo JB,” said nanay. Thank God it’s not JB! Ang baduy! “eh sabi ng tatay mo, ‘wag na. Orlando na lang’ wala man lang ka-art art,”
After absorbing what nanay said about my art-less name, I asked nanay, “Eh ang Roxane?”
Nanay immediately answered, “Ah! Artista yun dati.”
Tem asked, “Nasa’n na?”
“Patay na.”
I laughed hard and asked nanay, “Ano ikinamatay?”
“Cancer.”
Tem was laughing so hard that she supported her bulging stomach, “Di man lang ‘di na nagising, o kaya natetano ang pinangalan sa akin, talagang cancer.”
Padede?
For Tem’s upcoming labor day, I wanted to give her baby feeding bottles.
At the department store, I suddenly forgot the right word for it so I approached the Watson’s Sales Lady, “Miss, saan yung padede?” the last word almost whispered due to the use of an embarrassing word.
The saleslady, quite not hearing what I said asked again, “Ano yun sir?”
I thought hard and asked, “Miss, yung a—uhm, mm, uhm, ah, milk bottle?” still not sure if that was the correct term for it.
“Ah! Sir Milk Bath, dito po – “ pointing to the milk baths available in the Watson’s Stand.
Then the bulb above my head lit, I immediately said “Feeding bottles!”
Tooth Fairy
When ate Richie came back from her first trip to the US, she brought me teeth whiteners as pasalubong. It was those strips that you attach to your teeth for about 5 minutes and then it was supposed to whiten your teeth.
Her last pasalubong for me was the chapstick-like gel that you rub to each tooth to – yes! – to whiten it. I was happy. I thought to myself, atleast she didn’t forget me.
Now, after she came from the US, she bought me, <drum rolls please> Teeth whitening apparatus. Unlike the ones she gave me, single apparatus, now it’s a whole set. I have to gargle, paint and smile in front of a blue light for 2 minutes.
I couldn’t hold myself any longer, “Ate, bakit ba lagi na lang pampaputi ng ngipin ang uwi mo? Madilaw ba ang ngipin ko?”
Di Mo Marich
In the tradition of combining couples names into one: Brad + Angelina = Brangelina, Kim + Gerald = Kimerald (Ang baduy ko no?), Tom + Katie = Tomkat, ate Richie and Kuya Mark becomes Marich. This is the reason we named our now defunct restaurant, Di mo Marich.
One time a customer’s friend texted, "PRE, SAN KAU?"
Our customer replied, "D2 KMI SA DI MO MARICH."
Their friend, not pleased with the sent message, replied, "P*@%&! SA DAMI NG PERA KO WALA AKONG DI PWEDENG MARICH!"
Kumain ka na ba?
Hungry, Ate Richie asked Ate Mimi (her younger sister), "Mi, kumain ka na ba?"
They were not facing each other, Ate Richie was handwashing her clothes and so was Ate Mimi.
Without any reply, ate Richie asked again, "Mi, kumain ka na ba?"
Still without an answer from Mimi, Ate Richie got irritated, punched Ate Mimi in the arms and screamed at her ear, "MIMI, KUMAIN KA NA BA?"
Finally she answered, "Oo nga!"
"Eh, wala ka na bang sinasagot ah?"
Ate Mimi finally tells Ate Richie, "Sabi ng kilay ko ganito oh!" while demonstrating an up and down movement of her eyebrows.
"Eh kita ko ba yon?!?!?"
Peace Man
Japan: Index and middle fingers showing apart from each other. Arms raised to a comfortable position away from the face. "Japan! Japan!"
Korea: Same fingers showing but this time the index finger is somehow touching the cheek of the face. "Pa-cute!"
Pinoy: Same hand gesture. Only difference is that the hand is placed on the head of the person in front of you or beside you. "Hoy! Walang sungayan!"
Oh! Brother!
I used to hold the EVP Property Management back in my DLSU-D Chorale days. The cabinet, where we store our costumes and music files is located in the Rehearsal Room (RR).
The RR was the room where Teatro (Actors) practiced their acting, the Pointes ‘N Flexes (modern dance group) practiced their dances and the Filipiniana Dance Troup (Folk Dancers) rehearsed their routines. So you could really imagine that the RR is very crowded during the peak rehearsals days. All the four groups requested the DLSU-Dasmarinas Administration to do something about it.
During one month end, I was counting my inventories in the RR alone when a knock interrupted my counting. I opened the door expecting someone from PAG but it was some older guy who wore jeans and a polo shirt.
“Ito ba ang RR?” he asked.
“Opo,” I answered.
He then looked around and then asked, “Dito nagpapraktis ang lahat ng Performing Arts Group, ‘no?”
“Opo,” I replied. I was a bit uneasy because he doesn’t seem to be an artist like person from PAG and he kinda interrupted my counting.
“Dito nga siguro maganda ilagay yung isang cabinet,” He told himself outloud.
“Sa maintenance po ba kayo?” I asked nonchalantly. Assuming he’ll bring something from the storage room.
He stopped looking at the room, looked at me and smiled, “Ay, hindi. (Lasallian) Brother ako. Sige, thank you,” and then left.
I stood at my spot, open-mouthed and stared in blankness. Oh! Brother!
Richie’s Scare Tactics
Ate Richie arrived from the US last Monday. It was the first time that she personally met John-john, my younger sister’s future husband.
After a lot of discussion (I wanna say a few discussion but for ate Richie that would be an understatement), ate Richie said to John-john, “Pasensya ka na ha? Ganito lang talaga ako magsalita.”
John-john simply smiled.
“Pag napikon ka eh….Iyak ka na lang,” then she laughed hysterically trying to frighten John-john.
Then I told them, “Ah, Oo baka nga hindi ko muna ipakilala si Denice."
Sam’s Quiz
When Sam, my Grade 4 niece, got home from school with her 45 over 50 Social Sciences Test Paper, ate Richie, Sam’s Aunt, got excieted, “Sam ipakita mo ke Tito Mark (Richie’s American Husband), para ma-proud s’ya sa’yo!”
The next day Sam got the Math Test Paper Results. It was 14 over 50. Ate Richie got excited, but when she saw the result she said, “Itago mo! Itago mo! ‘Wag mo ipapakita! (from Tito Mark)”
Mathematechnic
Boo and I were talking what if we took teaching as a profession. I told her that she is more of an English or Religious Education-type kinda teacher.
Then, she asked me what I might’ve teach? I told her that it would be math.
She asked, "What if you encounter a difficult problem I, myself, cannot answer?"
I told her, "I will simply tell the class (or the student): OK ASSIGNMENT MO ‘YAN."
