How to Heat Baked Bangus on a Weeknight
When Ria, Marketing Assistant in BDO SM Dasmarinas, tried to sell Baked Bangus, I asked her how can I heat it up by the time I come home.
"Microwave lang," answered Ria.
I thought about our other oven, "Ah, Oo sa La Germania na lang namin."
Ria snickered and said, "Masabi lang na may La Germania."
Eye Doctor!
Aki had eye irritation three days ago so we went to the eye doctor.
Upon sitting on the patient’s chair, Aki immediately openned her mouth widely to the doctor that her lola screamed, "Aki! Ikom!"
She thought she’s in for her dental check up.
Don Miguel 2
Still can’t accept the fact that they named my first nephew Don Miguel, I can’t help but ask again, "Bakit ba kasi Don Miguel ang pinangalan n’yo?"
Tem answered, "Para paglaki n’ya pilitin na n’yang maging ‘don’ s’ya."
I argued, "Eh di sana, Doc Miguel na lang o kaya Architect Miguel ang pinangalan n’yo para magsumikap s’yang maging doktor or kaya eh arkitek!"
Spoiling Harry Potter Part 2 of 2
***WARNING: Harry Potter Fans! Spoiler Ahead! Do not read if you haven’t read book 7.***
I was almost done, 50 pages to go, 2 Chapters on the way.
Jamie, a choirmate, and I were texting. I previously told her that if she would know any details about the ending; she should not, NEVER EVER tell me (I actually told all my friends about this). She said, "Ok." She said she only read two chapters in Book 7. The last 2 chapters.
She then told me, "Kuya, ‘di ba kinasal si Harry at si Ginny?"
My world shattered! All my life’s work, over! I told her, "Jamie, I so hate you right now."
She, I guess also shocked, said, "Huh!? Kuya! Hula lang ‘yun!"
Me, two chapters to go. She, read two chapters only, and which chapters? Yes! The two chapters that I haven’t read and she tells me that it was only a guess.
On Driving
I asked Chona, "Na experience mo na ba ‘yung drive ka, drive ka lang, relaxing driving tapos biglang may sumingit sa’yo tapos parang ayaw mo nang malalampasan ka, kaya mag uunahan na kayo?" asking thru experience, of course.
She simply answered, "Madalas!"
Funny Bank Moment # 12: Saan?
A client to Shari, “Miss, Sa’n pwedeng magbayad ng payment?”
Featured Film
Jane, a choirmate from the Marian Choir, had a class where the professor asked, "Class, what is your favorite film?" asking for the student’s favorite featured film.
One answered, "Ma’am, Kodak po."
Don Miguel
I still argued why they named him Don Miguel.
Tatay said, "Hayaan mo na, kalalakihan na n’ya yun."
"Oo nga. Bagay naman eh," Nanay replied.
"Kasi ‘Don Miguel’ parang pinangungunahan na natin," I said.
"Parang Nanay mo Donya Corazon," pointed out by tatay, "Tapos si Akemi - Monya Aki." <demonya>
Utang Mo
***WARNING: OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE.
Aki wanted Jollibee for merienda, she asked her lola, “Lola, kain tayo sa Jollibee?”
Nanay quite pissed, lack of budget we suppose, answered, “Jollibee-hin mo mukha mo.”
Aki, being the defensive apo that she is answered, “Lola, hindi ka nakakatawa, ha?”
“Sabihin mo kasi sa mama mo magbayad ng utang n’ya,” answered nanay.
Aki answered, “Sinabi ko na nga ‘yun.”
Nanay replied, “Ganito sabihin mo: Mama, magbayad ka na raw ng utang mo.”
Aki, confused by the idea, said, “Lola, parang mura ‘yun? Utang mo? Parang Tangnamo.”
We laughed our asses off, hearing this from a 5 year old.
Beautiful Baby
The cat is finally out of the bag.
After seeing my first nephew’s God-given good looks, I asked my mom, “Nay, aminin n’yo na. Panget talaga ako nung baby pa ako ‘no?”
She never stopped to even think for a second, “Oo, para kang binugbog. Dang-panget mo.”
That really seals the saying: NANAY MO LANG ANG NAGSASABI NA GWAPO KA (or until you can accept the fact without hard feelings).
Bouncing Check
Ate Richie, my sister, issued a check for me, unfortunately the check bounced due to insufficient funds.
The branch Teller told me, “Pwede mong idemanda ‘yang nag-issue n’yan, ESTAFA.”
I told them, “Idedemanda ko na nga sana… kaya lang, ako rin magpipiyansa.”
Pagkaing Mayaman
The whole branch ate at Magdaragat the other day. It is a Dampa style restaurant.
Ms. Dory, the branch manager, was the one who decided which food to order. She ordered Inihaw na Pusit, Sweet & Sour Fish, Inihaw na Tilapia, Sinigang na Baka, Ensaladang Talong, Battered Shrimp and Manggang Hilaw and Bagoong.
After we ate, she noticed that most of the three table’s leftovers were the Sweet & Sour Fish and the Inihaw na Tilapia. She asked, “Bakit ‘di n’yo naubos? Pagkaing pang-mayaman ‘yan.”
I immediately answered, “Talaga ma’am? Kaya pala sarap na sarap ako.”
Ria, one of the Marketing Assistants, said, “Tignan n’yo naman kung ano ang ubos na ubos sa table natin, Talong, Bagoong at Hilaw na Mangga. Mayayaman talaga!!”
Interpretation
Ms. Princess, the Branch Manager, asked Derik, the Branch All-Around-Guy, to buy her items from a list she made.
1. Ice Cream (1/2 Gallon)
2. Tortillos
3. Mr. Chips
4. <Another small item>
The 500 Pesos Ma’am Cess gave to Derik had a little change. Ma’am Cess wondered why and saw that Derik interpreted the list as it is and bought 1 Ice cream, 2 packs of tortillos and 3 Bags of Mr. Chips, etc.
Ms. Princess just let it go and became thankful that she didn’t put Ice Cream at the bottom of the list.
Funny Bank Moment # 11: Translating Korean
A Korean Woman and a Filipina walked in the Branch.
ME:
Good Afternoon, ma’am. Good afternoon, ma’am.
FILIPINA:
She (pertaining to her Korean Friend) wanted to an account with BDO, what are the requirements?
ME (to both of them):
Ma’am, you’ll just need to present two primary ID’s and a picture.
FILIPINA (to the Korean Woman):
You’ll just need to present two primary ID’s and a picture.
KOREAN (to Filipina Friend):
How much to open?
FILIPINA (to me):
How much to open?
ME (to both of them):
Two thousand pesos for ATM and five thousand pesos for Passbook with ATM.
FILIPINA (to the Korean):
Two thousand pesos for ATM and five thousand pesos for Passbook with ATM.
At that point, I wanted to tell the Filipina, “Ma’am tina-translate mo pa eh English din naman.”
iPod Challenge
Chona’s dad finally decided what he wants from his daughter on his 60th birthday: an iPod Nano. A few days later after receiving the iPod, he confronts Chona again, “’Nak, ‘di pala gagana ‘tong iPod… kailangan ko ng Laptop.”
Geez, Parents!
