Strong Earthquake
During lunchtime today, an intensity 5.4 earthquake stroke in Luzon. The following story tells the tale of the events that happen in BDO SM Dasmarinas Pantry during the quake…
Me: Ano yun?
Chona: (While eating) Lindol!
Shari: Anlakas.
Shirley: (While ironing her hair) Baba tayo?
Chona: Bakit? (still eating)
Shirley: (Still ironing her hair) Wala lang.
Wrong Approach
Nini, one of the Marketing Assistants from BDO SM Dasmarinas, was assigned to convert some of the branches of Equitable PCI Branch in the Makati Area. She left the SM Dasmarinas branch last summer. She is yet to come back in the branch but she calls occasionally to say her HIs and HELLOs.
Due to the quick transfers of branch personnel in BDO SM Dasmarinas, we had new Tellers, Accounting Assistants and Officers. One of the officers was Sir Dennis, the new Branch Assistant Manager.
Nini called up one day and the phone was answered by Sir Dennis, “BDO, How may I help you?”
Nini asked, “Good afternoon, sir, pwede kay Ms. Chona (Marketing Officer)?”
Sir Dennis answered, “Naka-lunch break s’ya eh.”
Nini, being herself, asked, “Ah! Ay ano ka nga pala d’yan?”
Sir Dennis, wondering who he is talking to, answered, “Assistant Branch Manager. Who’s on the line?”
Nini hesitated and immediately answered, “Uhmm, si Kristel po, aaamm, client ako ni Ms. Chona. Sige po pakisabi na lang po tumawag yung client n’ya. Thanks!” and she immediately put the phone down.
Later that afternoon, Chona received a text message: Ms Cho, 2mawag me knina sa branch. Denis raw ung nksagot. Tnanong ko kung cno sya. Branch Assistant Mgr pala! Pag tinanong ka sabihin mo client ako, h? Tnx.
Chona was approached by Sir Dennis, “Ms. Chona, may tumawag kanina, Kristel daw. Teller ba natin ‘yun dito dati?”
Chona then answered, “Ah, hindi client ko ‘yun. Thank you sir.”
Concert for A Cause
Jhun’s company recently sponsored an Ecology Concert held somewhere in Cavite. They had bands from around Cavite to play in the benefit concert. The concert’s main goal is to increase the awareness of the youth from the slow destruction of mother earth.
After the concert was over and the crowd cleared out, Jhun and his colleagues noticed the concert venue – it was full of trash. His manager said, “P$%#@ng mga bata ‘to. Ecology concert nga eh.”
Gee Ann’s Wedding Details
Gee Ann, my cousin, told me and Tem, “Huy! ‘wag kayong maingay kahit kanino, ha? Kahit sa nanay ko. Sa inyo ko lang ‘to sasabihin hangga’t ‘di pa namamanhikan sina Sonny. Ikakasal na kami sa March 29, 2008. Sa Island Cove ang reception.”
Tem, being the chatterbox that she is didn’t keep the secret and told Nanay. Tem made nanay promise not to tell a single soul. Of course Nanay could not keep that secret from Tatay and so she told him too!
The day before the ‘pamamanhikan’, Ate Liit (tatay’s sister and Gee Ann’s mom) dropped by our house and said to Tatay, “Kuya, nagsabi na si Gee Ann saka si Sonny, magpapakasal na raw sila.”
Tatay jokingly asked, “Kelan ba ang kasal?”
Ate Liit said, “June daw o December next year.”
Tatay said, “Parang gusto ko eh March 2008.”
Ate Liit, still doesn’t know the true details of the planned wedding, then wondered, “Bakit gusto mo March?”
Tatay wittingly answered, “Eh, syempre. Birthday ng nanay (my lola), ng ate Cora (my mom) mo, para sunud-sunod. Saan ba gaganapin?”
Ate Liit answered, “Sa Parkplace daw d’yan sa Anabu.”
Tatay then said, “Parang gusto ko eh sa Island Cove.”
Ate Liit wondered again, “Bakit gusto mo sa Island Cove?”
Tatay answered, “Wala lang, parang masaya ‘dun eh.”
The next day after the ‘pamamanhikan’ ate Liit learned the real details of the wedding and approached Tatay, “Kuya! Kunyari ka pa eh. Pa-gusto-gusto ko pa ikaw. Eh alam mo naman pala yung detalye.”
Kasal Kasali Kasalo - Baldedara Version
Gee Ann, my paternal cousin, is about to marry her long time boyfriend, Sonny. They finally decided to tell our grandparents, "Lola, magpapakasal na po kami ni Sonny."
Lola immediately asked, "Bakit? buntis ka ba?"
Gee Ann, "Hindi ho! Porket ba ikakasal eh buntis na?"
Reminiscin’ KASAL KASALI KASALO. Hehe.
200th Funny Side of the Story: Top 10 Best Entries
In the tradition of the 100th Funny Side of the Story, I am compiling the Best 10 Entries of the past 100 bloggies.
10. Padede
9. Funny Bank Moment #13: Use ‘H’ in a Sentence
7. Namesake
4. Baga (Lungs)
2. Utang Mo
Young Alcoholic
During Tianzhel’s 1st Birthday, my cousin Rozel’s son, Tem thought of something funny… What would Aki looked like sipping beer? It was just for the photo op anyway, so we handed her a cup of beer.
After one sip, we all laughed at her reaction! Of course no kid in his/her right mind would like the taste of beer and of course Aki would be an exemption to this rule. After I grabbed the cup of beer from her hand, she cried and she wants more.
Akiholik!
Roda’s Punch Lines 3
I promise this will be the last of the Roda Series for the meantime.
Each one of us was being asked on how much would we commit for the production until the end of the year. In our bosses exact words, he asked on, "How much is in ‘the bag’?"
Roda, commited Php 70,000.00 for the upcoming week. Then she elbowed us and said, "In the bag palang naman eh, pwedeng butas ang bag."
Roda’s Punch Lines 2
I asked Roda, my colleague from BDO Imus Nueno, "Pare, kamusta na production mo for the month?
She smiled and said, "Eto, Pota na!" playing on the word quota.
Roda’s Punch Lines 1
During our Region (Merienda) Meeting at Alabang, our Sales Manager asked for our production for the month of November. Since my colleague from BDO Imus Nueno branch, Roda, is yet to have a production, she told us, "Pare, itatanong na ata ang production natin. Sumubo lang kayo ng sumubo para ‘di kayo kausapin! ‘Di ba don’t talk when your mouth is full?"
Mang-inggit ba?
I called up my girlfriend in her celphone and asked for something. After the talk, I then said, “I love you, boo.”
She said, “Ganun din.”
I then asked her, “Bakit ayaw mong sabihing I love you too?”
She then said, “Boo, ayoko mang-inggit dito sa office.”
Funny Bank Moment # 14: Ask me properly first.
A client, holding a passbook, asked, “Sir, saan po nag-che-check ng balance inquiry?”
PBB Craze
A few weeks back, Pau, Chona’s husband, asked her wife, “Bakit ka ba nanunuod n’yang Big Brother-Big Brother na ‘yan? Puro iyakan ng iyakan. Walang ka-kwenta kwenta, nagsasayang ka ng oras mo d’yan.”
Last night, Chona was watching PBB again and asked Pau for a cold glass of water, “Pau, pengeng malamig na tubig.”
Pau said, “Mamaya na ‘pag commercial. Sino kaya ang ma-e-evict?”
Dreaming of a Black Christmas
Pau will be assigned to Uganda for two weeks this December. Chona, his wife said, “Bakit ba naman kung kelan Pasko eh saka naman duon ka pa ipapadala sa Uganda?”
Pau simply said, “Nag-iisip nga rin ako kasi two weeks ng Disyembre nandun ako.”
Chona then asked, “Nakakainis naman. Magkano ba raw makukuha mo sa two weeks na trabaho mo dun?”
“Four thousand dollars,” answered Pau.
Chona immediately answered, “Ah…eh, sige na. H’wag mo nang pag-isipan. Tatawag ka naman yata lagi eh. Ma-mi-miss ka naming pero this Christmas lang naman ‘yun. May next year pa naman saka two weeks lang naman ‘yun. Ano? Ipag-eempake na ba kita?”
A Dialogue Between Two Bulakbols
Two of my colleagues, co-Financial Advisors (FA), were surprised to see each other on the same bus going to Manila when they are supposed to be both in their respective branches at that moment. Here’s the dialogue:
FA 1: Oh! Alas dos pa lang ah! San ka pupunta?
FA 2: Ah, eh, may client ako sa Baclaran. May proposal ako i-de-deliver. Ikaw?
FA 1: Uwi na ‘ko. Nakakatamad sa branch eh.
FA 2 to himself: <Shet! Nagsinungaling pa ako.>
