Bunk Bed Multiple Choice
A month ago, Ronald, the flat ‘care taker’, asked me, “Orlee, may lilipat na kasabay mo, si Rommel, pero medyo una ka. May choice ka: Ano gusto mo taas ka o baba ka?”
“Sige sa taas na lang ako. Mas ok nang ako ang mang-bagsak kesa ako ang bagsakan.”
Ibang Bansa
My new Dubai Tropa went out for coffee. Jade, my friend from Al Hilal Bank, asked me, “Orlee, kunan mo naman ako ng picture.” Here’s the picture.
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Then I realized and screamed, “Wow! Pare, ganda! Parang ibang bansa.”
Ronald answered, “Ibang bansa?”
I forgot. I’m in ‘Ibang Bansa’.
Duboi’s First Month
Duboi decided to compile the lessons he’d learned in his first 30 days in Dubai :
1. Stop multiplying everything by 12.5 and stop adding 4 in your watch. You just won’t be able to stay in the present if you keep on doing that.
2. Wear comfortable shoes.” Walang tricycle, hijo, sa Dubai.” The nearest shop maybe 1 km away and there is no other means of transportation but to walk! How I miss the Tricycle Capital of the Philippines: Cavite.
3. Learn how to cook. I don’t need to explain that. It saves a lot of money and ofcourse you get to eat what you like. Ate Richie called and I proudly screamed, “Ate! Marunong na ako mag-gisa!” “Haha! Gisa lang?” she answered. “Dati kaya pirito lang alam ko.”
4. Wash your beddings regularly. Why? Zoorot.
5. Cheap vs Expensive Roll Call: Cheap: Transportation, Detergent, Fabric Softener, Perfume, Electronic Products, Branded Clothes, Seeing Che-che Palomar (nanlilibre). Expensive: Contact Lens Solution, Lacoste, Aparador, Pillows, Suits, Food, Books (I miss my National Bookstore), Seeing my sister (nagpapalibre).
6. Never ask an Indian spell their names. Dunno how to explain it, you have to experience it.
7. Househunting is Fun! Though it may suck for a while but the thought of living independently is great. You get to choose who’ll be your housemates for the next so many years.
8. Warn your housemates first about your sleeptalking. It’s not nice to hear “Sunog! Sunog!” when you’re in the middle of your sleep especially when there is none.
9. Start practicing the words: ‘Kabayan’ to fellow Filipinos, ‘Pare’ (as in Kumpare) to Indians and ‘My Friend’ to everybody else.
10. Pack some vicks vaporub or White Flower if you don’t like sniffing the smell of the Onion Smelling People.
11. Wear Sunblock: That’s a golden rule. Why? Hell! The air here is hotter than a hairdryer’s air. Feeling mo kasing laki ng nostrils mo ang pores mo dito dahil sa sobrang init ng hangin. Kung ayaw mo matipak ang mukha mo, mag sunblock ka.
12. Buses here suck! Nakakamiss ang mga bus sa EDSA na kahit anong mangyari ay hihintayin kang sumakay kahit tumatawid ka palang sa kabilang side ng kalsada o papalabas sa looban mong napakalayo. Dito, nasa harap ka na ng bus, yung tipong pasakay ka na. Yung tipong andyan na sa harap mo, pag late ka isasara sa mukha mo. Lesson: Don’t be late in the bus stop.
Sighting of the Moon
Orlee, 1 month in Dubai
Zinnia, 2 weeks in Dubai
Roger, 1 week in Dubai
Zinnia: Wow! Sweldo na this week!
Orlee: Oo nga eh.
Roger: Naka-receive ka last month ng sweldo, Orlee?
Zinnia: Orlee, kelan ang Eid (ul-Fitr)?
Orlee: This week ata ‘yun (answering Zinnia’s question). Oo sumuweldo ako ng one week plus cash advance (answering Roger’s question)
Zinnia: Three days ba ‘yun?
Orlee: Oo three days ‘yun plus weekend.
Roger: Kelan ang exact date?
Orlee: Naku depende sa sighting of the moon.
Roger: Huh!? Depende sa sighting of the moon? (chuckles)
Zinnia: Oo. Depende talaga kung full moon.
Orlee: Meron ngang Ministry of Sighting of the Moon dito sa Dubai eh.
Roger: Pati sweldo depende sa sighting of the moon?
Zinnia: Ano ba tinatanong mo?
Roger: ‘Yung petsa ng sweldo.
Orlee: Nyak! Eid ang pinag-uusapan eh.
Roger: Kaya pala ako nagtataka ako kung bakit pati sweldo depende kung full moon.
Orlee: Ano kaya kung ganun nga… Lahat ng employees siguro nakatingala sa buwan.
Bacon
Since I always wake up the earliest everyday, 6:00 AM, and leaves before 7:30 AM. I miss out the morning breakfast prepeared by our resident cook, Ronald, who prepares it at around 7:45 am.
Today, he announced, “Oh! May bacon sa ref ha?! Kayo na bahala.”
“Ayan!” I answered, “Tamang-tama! Sige. Ako na bahala. Ako na magluluto, para pag-gising n’yo… ubos na.”
Ramadan Kareem
“Ramadan Kareem!”
That’s the standard greeting here during the Holy Month of Ramadan for Muslims in UAE and anywhere else around the Islamic World.
DJ, my flatmate, asked me, “Orlee, ano ba ‘yung Ramadan Kareem?”
Its like the blind leading the blind, because I, myself, don’t know what does that mean. I answered, “Ummm… Parang ganito ‘yan… Kung ako ganito… Ramadan ako… Ikaw… Ikaw! Ramadan Kareem!”
Let’s Go!
November 2006: I’ve decided to take a picture of myself and posted it on friendster. I was driving so I entitled it ‘Let’s Go’.
After almost 2 years. The comments keep pouring in. I wonder why? You tell me. Click here.
My top 3 favorite comments were from:
1. Peaches: cannot be!!!! may isang taon ko ng binabalik balikan ang larawan na to!! HINDI IKAW TO ORLEE!!!! CANNOT BE!! tanggalin na ang sungalsses!!
2. Hazelle: pakshet! orlee, ikaw ba to? mtagal na tyong nagkasama sa chorale..pero honestly, di kita nakitaan ng ganitong potential sa picture…
3. Joy: pag pinaglaba ba kita ng isang linggo tatanggalin mo na to?
Tele-Tipid
An anonymous phonecall flashed on my celphone. The country code was 008 so it was either Ate Pam or Ate Mimi. It came as a surprise because as far as I can remember, they would rather save their phonecards to call their daughters in the Philippines.
“Moshi-moshi!” I hello-ed.
“‘Choy! Kamusta?” it was Ate Pam.
“Ate! Ok naman ako dito. Medyo nakaka-settle na rin,” I answered, “Buti nakatawag ka! Himala! New number mo?”
“Saglit lang ‘to,” she whispered, “sa kaibigan ko ‘to…”
“Nyek! Akala ko naman…”
“Shet! Nakatingin! O sige na! O sige na! Nakasimangot yung kaibigan ko, nakita ako. Bye! Love you! Bye!” then it was cut off.
Unblogging
Jane, Susan, two of my only college classmates in Dubai , and I met last Saturday and all went to the St. Mary’s Church. We updated each other a lot and they updated me with their private stories (take note: private) and experiences then they screamed, “Orlee! Huwag mo kaming subukang i-blog ha!?”
I told them, “Hindi ko naman kayo i-ne-name names eh, blind item lang sabihin ko: one of my college classmate who is living and working in Dubai …”
“Punyeta! Dalawa lang kami ditto ni Susan!? Pano mo kami i-ba-blind item?!” Jane screamed.
Telecom
I pointed to the tower in the left, “Pare, anong building yung may bola sa tuktok?”
Ronald answered, “Ah yun? Etisalat Building ‘yun.”
Etisalat is one of the two Telecommunications company in UAE, aside from Du.
I answered, “Kaya pala mukhang etits yung building.”
“Oo, bastos mga pangalan dito ng ganun: Etits salat,” Julius answered.
“Mas bastos yung isa,” Ronald replied, “Do,” while doing the finger on palm action.
Surot Stories
You know the line, “Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.” Well they do here! And you can’t stop them from biting. Here’s a backgrounder on bedbugs. Click here.
Famous surot lines:
- Che-che: Orlee, ‘pag naghanap ka ng bahay, check mo muna kung may surot.
- Jane: ‘Di ako makakasama sa inyo ni Susan (sa mall), maglalaba ako ng kobre kama . Puro surot.
- Zinnia: Pag tumingin daw ako ng bahay, tignan ko raw kung puro pantal yung nag-tu-tour sa akin para malaman ko kung may surot doon.
Padala
I asked her, “Boo, ok lang wala akong padala?”
“Oo naman, Boo. Kahit walang padala basta umuwi ka lang,” she embraced me as she answered.
I then asked nanay, who was with us in the car, “Nay, kayo ganun din? Kahit walang padala basta umuwi?”
She answered, “Ah, h’wag kang uuwi kung wala kang padala.”
J Din
Dudz (real name Jullie Anne) named her first born son Julian. Obviously, it starts with a ‘J’ because she wants to continue the trend: J’s.
She is 8-months pregnant on her second child so I asked her, “Ano ipapangalan mo d’yan? ‘J’ din?”
“Oo, Jaden,” she replied.
“Wow! Galing! Anong ‘J’ din?” I asked her.
“Jaden. Jaden nga,” She answered.
Bedspace
Susan, a college classmate and Dubai-OFW mate, told me, “Sa sobrang sikip nga ng mga bedspace dito, yung friend kong lalaki kapag may bisitang babae sasabihin daw pagpasok ng bahay, ‘oh sige higa ka na’… Kasi wala namang mga sala dahil kama agad! Nakakahiyang magdala ng bisita!”
Expat
Josel, my good friend from Bulacan, told me, “Expat ka! Hindi ka OFW. Ano ka ba?!”
“Ah ganun ba? May difference ba yun?” I asked.
“Oo naman!” he answered, “Ilan ba kayo sa kwarto (bedspace)”
“Anim,” I replied.
“Ah!” he affirmed, “OFW ka nga.”
