Fog You

I visited Che in her office last weekend (to get my free contact lense solution, hehe) in Satwa, Dubai. Satwa is a little community near the sea. It’s like Waikiki but pedestrians have shoes. I walked around Al Satwa Road for an hour (because I was too early on our scheduled time) and checked the small cafes and shops around the area. The sky suddenly darkened and the strong winds started building up.
As if on cue, my phone rang: Che-che, “Orlee, nasaan ka na?”
“Nandito na ako sa baba,” I answered.
“Hala! Anlakas kaya ng hangin!?”
“Ok lang Che! Ang saya nga eh, foggy! Fog ‘to ‘di ba?” I asked.
“Tangek! Walang fog sa Dubai! Alikabok ‘yan!”

Poster Girl

My sister, Tem, was chosen as the poster girl for Mahi Mahi Restaurant. She didn’t expect that her pictures (take note: pictures) will be posted as the restaurant’s permanent ad. It is posted outside the restaurant and around Wafi Mall (the posh mall where Mahi Mahi is located).

Now clients would ask who the pretty girl outside the restaurant and ask for her advice on what food to eat, Tem is afterall the Fish Host of Mahi Mahi. She was so ecstatic and realized how she gained weight from the time the picture was taken, about three months ago, versus her current figure.

My flatmates exclaimed, “Wow! Ang galing naman ni Tem! Bakit kaya s’ya ang napili? Siguro dahil kailangan nila nang mukhang mahilig kumain.”

Kambing vs Kabayo Round 1

My sisters love to argue. It’s like organized chaos. I love it. One great example is the fact that Ate Pam (Japan Sister No. 1) created a friendster account. In the field “Who I want to meet”, ate Pam put ‘WALA LANG….”

Ate Richie (USA Sister) got an opportunity and back fired: (In the comments section of Ate Pam’s friendster) “who i wanna meet”…. sabi mo ..”wala lang”???? eh bakit nag-friendster ka pa…. wala ka naman pa lang gustong makilala? ganda haller!

The Real Ironman

To save space, my roommates and I decided to combine all our clothes in one big slump. 
As I was ironing my clothes during a webcam chat, my sister asked me, “Boy, andami mo namang pinaplantsa?! Ano ba talaga ang trabaho mo d’yan?”

I Get So Week

For the past three months, I can never seem to get used to the fact that the week begins on Sundays and ends on Thursdays here in the Middle East. Weekend starts on Thursday nights and ends on Saturday mornings. Here some of the confusing things that still rattles me:

 

Sleep Talkin’ 3: Please Choose

“Please choose your words! Pu@#$*!”

MJ, my roommate asked me, “Orlee, sino kaaway mo sa panaginip? Sumisigaw ka nanaman kagabi.”

“Pare nanaginip ako kagabi. ‘Yung choir daw namin nag meeting tapos treasurer daw ako, eh. Tapos sabi nung conductor namin, ‘Orlee, ‘di ba ikaw ang treasurer nung panahon na may nililigawan ka? Nasan na ‘yung pera?’ Tapos sabi ko, ‘Grabe naman, bakit ako ang pagbibintangan n’yo? Ang kapal ko naman kung gagamitin ko yung nawawalang pera. Pero sige babayaran ko!’”, I told MJ.

MJ answered, “Ah kaya ka napasigaw ng ganun? Sa galit?”

“Oo, nagising nga ako sa sarili kong sleep talk eh. Tapos nag compute pa kami. Ang kinalabasan mga 15,000 pesos ang kailangan kong bayaran. Tapos sabi ko, ‘Bakit ko babayaran ‘yan, ‘di ko naman ninakaw ‘yan. Grabe kayo magbintang! Please choose your words, puta!”

1 Kilo Only

Ronald, AKA Better, is flying home this December. He screamed, “Oh tig-iisang kilo lang kayo ng padala ha?” allowing us to send care packs to our families back home, “kahit ilan pa ‘yan basta isang kilo lang.”

DJ asked,“Kuya Ronald, pwede isang kilong Shabu?”

Quick English

I asked Joy, “Kamusta ang English Accent mo? Napupurol na ba?” she’s in Tennessee. Her company sent her.

“Ok pa naman,” she answered, “kaya lang ambilis-bilis nila magsalita dito…”

This morning, we received an e-mail from her:

…nakakatawa kanina sa old navy store… yung cashier na lalaki ang bilis nya magsalita sabi ko sa knya “huh?” hahaha yun pla tinatanong kung ilalagay nalng daw nya sa loob ng plastic yung resibo hahaha

Smile!

I asked Susan, “Bakit kaya yang mga Indian saka yang mga Pakistani pag nag-papa-picture sila ‘di sila nag-i-ismile? Pero mukhang excited naman sila mag-pa-picture?”

“Wala ‘yan sa mga Arabo,” she answered, “Magpapa-picture pa eh ‘di naman sila kita.”

Zinnia and Prostitution

The Chinese People have a bad reputation here in Dubai. One good reason is that most of the prostitutes here are… well… Chinese. Zinnia was once asked by a Pakistani colleague, “Are you Chinese?”
She was confused if she would feel flattered or embarrassed by her Chinita looks but she answered, “Nope, I’m a Filipino.”
She then asked me, “Orlee, mukha ba akong prostitute?”

Boo York

My girlfriend in New York called this morning around 8 AM, “Boo!”
I answered, “Boo, long distance! Nasa office ka pa?”
“Oo, 11 PM na dito,” she answered.
“‘Di ka nila sisingilin dito?” I asked.
“Nasa ibang pwesto ako.”

Aki Update Update

After one week of the Butones-Swallowing Incident, I called up home to ask for any update, “Sam, kamusta ang butones na nalunok ng kapatid mo?”

“Tito, pinapakain nga ni lola si Aki ng Gelatine para dumulas daw yung butones sa pwet n’ya eh,” Sam answered.

“Ha?” I asked, “Sabihin mo sa lola mo, kahit pakainin n’ya si aki ng gelatine lalabas talaga ‘yun. Baka nga lumabas na ‘yun sa tae n’ya eh. Sabihin mo sa lola mo, 3 days lang ang longest na nag-stay ang food sa tyan ng tao, malamang lumabas na yun sa tae ni Aki.”

“Naiiyak nga si ate Evelyn (Aki’s yaya) eh. Kasi tuwing tatae si Aki, tinitignan n’ya kung may butones dun. Eh isang linggo na nyang sinasalat yun wala pa ring butones.”

Zinnia and Beer

Zinnia told me, “Orlee, ‘di naman ako nag-ra-rice na masyado pero ganun pa rin ang itsura ko.”

I noticed this also and I knew the answer. She has been drinking alot lately. Don’t tell her mom! I answered, “Eh pa’no beer ka ng beer.”

“Ha?!” She answered, “Nakakataba ba ang beer?”

“Kaya nga beer belly ‘di ba?” I sarcastically answered, “‘Di naman beer abs ‘yun.”