Exotic Beauty
Who am I talking about? Click here to find out.
Airport Drama
Wanna know Lourdes’ philosphy on packing? Click here.
500th Funny Side!
We’ve reached the maximum! The peak of my blogging career (career daw oh!?): 500th Post!
And from here on out, I’ll be blogging in my new wordpress home. But before I go, here’s the top 10 funny sides of the last 100 posts. See you in wordpress.
10. Mrs. Vitor
8. Practical Applications of Accounting
5. Padala
4. Dubai Winter
2. Let’s Go!
Nanay’s Birthday
Last 26th March was Nanay’s 54th Birthday. Of course: Long distance call…
“Hello, Nay, ano handa n’yo?” I asked.
“Pansit lang,” she answered, “kakain sana kami sa labas eh, kaya lang…” and then she left it hanging there.
I knew what she meant, so I answered, “Hooooo! Nanay ko! Andami n’yo kayang pera!”
Bitter Sweet
Zinnia asked, “Bakit ka malungkot?”
I answered, “Mapupuno na blog ko! 50 MB!”
I’m seriously considering moving to wordpress.
Balikbayan Boxing
Lourdes will take her annual leave on 27th March. She already sent her 5 Balikbayan Boxes a month ago so that she won’t carry much during her flight.
She asked the Balikbayan Express Service, “Boss, marami pa rin bang nagpapadala sa Pinas? ‘Di ba marami nang walang trabaho?”
“Opo,” the guy answered, “Mas marami po ngayon.”
“Talaga?!”
“Pinapadala na kasi nila lahat ng gamit nila,” he answered non-chalantly, “Uuwi na sila.”
Run From Me
Zeph and Meena, two of my Indian colleagues asked me to run with them after work around Deira, Dubai. I ditched them the first time so when they asked me again, I caved in and joined them.
“I’ll just change into my running shoes,” I told them.
My flatmates, wondering why I’m all geared up, asked me, “Oh! Saan ka pupunta?”
“Ayaw ako tigilan ng mga Indian, gusto nila ako isama tumakbo,” I answered.
After changing to my running attire, I tried to catch up with my Indian friends. They weren’t there. I looked for them but they ditched me. I ran for 15 minutes and went back home.
My flatmates asked me, “Bakit ang bilis mo naman!?”
“Mga Indian nang-Indian!”
iPod Full
Better, Ate Safiyya and Dad maintains their 8 GB iPods on my iTunes. In the whole flat, I maintain the iTunes with the most number of songs (1,406 songs / 5.94 GB as of this writing).
One time, I told them, “‘Di na kasya mga kanta ko sa iPod ko!”
Dad said, “Wow! Buti ka pa! Napuno mo na iPod mo!”
“Shohada!” I replied, “Eh 4 GB lang iPod ko eh!”
Uninviting You in Advance 3
Hydee and Francis, my new friends in Dubai, are finally getting married and this time I understand why I am not invited: Unlike Aileen’s wedding.
Che-che, the acting wedding planner, told me, “Orlee, hindi ka invited sa wedding. Ok lang ‘yun ha!?”
Ofcourse it was just ok but I can’t help myself not to joke about it.
One time, they’ve put me on speaker phone as I was talking to everyone in their office (Che-che and Hydee are officemates) while the bride to be was not there, “Ha!? Bakit hindi ako invited!? Tapos lahat kayo d’yan sa office invited?”
Then when Hydee arrived, Che-che asked me, “Orlee, ulitin mo nga yung sinasabi mo kanina…”
“Uhmm… Hydee, congrats nga pala sa wedding n’yo… Too bad hindi ako makakapunta kasi may prior engagement na ako. Congrats na lang, ha?”
They all screamed, “Orlee, hindi ‘yan ang sinasabi mo kanina!”
***
Yesterday, I asked Che-che what she did last weekend, she answered, “Nag-punta akong Ikea, bumili ako ng wineglass pang-giveaway sa kasal nina Hydee at Francis.”
Another joke popped in my mind, “Ah ganun ba? ‘Yun naman ang importante eh… Kahit ‘di na ako makapunta sa kasal ni Hyds.. basta… may mga giveaway lang kayo.”
Che-che laughed and answered, “Sige, sasabihin ko ‘yan kay Hydee mamaya.”
Congratulations, Hydee and Francis!
Mrs. Vitor
Ann, was voice-chatting with her mom, when I stormed into their room and searched for chips or chocolates.
She screamed, “Hoy! Magnanakaw ka nanaman ng pagkain dito!!?”
I ignored her and continued with my hunt. She then joked her mom, “Oho! Yung abnormal.”
Still ignorning her, I heard her reply, “Kapag binigyan na namin ng pagkain, kumakalma na s’ya.”
After a few hours, it was her turn to storm into our room. She told all of us ”Ang akala ng nanay ko may abnormal talaga tayong kasama,” while laughing.
That Thing
My Indian colleague is always seem lost for words, she’ll instruct me, “Orlee, have you did that thing to that person?” or “Can you give me this thing?” or “Can you call her and tell her this thing?”
Its at times confusing and somewhat frustrating not to know what she is asking or instructing. I am almost at my boiling point to answer, “I did this thing and that thing to this person for that thing.”
Idolong Amerikano
This year, American Idol introduced a new rule: THE JUDGES’ SAVE POWER. The judges (unanymously) can save a contestant from elimination. So if a contestant is due for kick out, the judges can ’save’ them this week and there will be a double elimination next week. The judges can only save one contestant for the whole season (upto Top 5 only). They announce the decision after the contestant sings the song that got them booted out.
Tagalized American Idol show:
Ryan Seacrest: Ok! Ikaw ang pinaka-ayaw ng mga Amerikano, kaya… kanta ka na!
Contestant with the lowest number of votes then sings. After singing..
Judges: Hindi ka gusto ng mga Amerikano… at… ayaw rin namin sa’yo. Kaya sorry, hindi ka ligtas.
Wishing in Filipino
I asked Zinnia, “May meeting kaya boss natin?” outloud, we were confident to speak about our colleagues since they wouldn’t understand Filipino.
“May coat ba s’yang dala?” she asked, because people bring their business coats during meetings.
“Meron eh, siguro nga merong meeting… Sana…” I answered.
Our Indian colleague, Sanay, said ”Huh!? What?! You’re calling me?”
“No,” I answered keeping my smile, “It means ‘i hope so’ or ‘i wish’ in Filipino,” funny language barrier.
The Missy Project
I recommended to my girlfriend, “Boo, you should read The Shack (by W.M. Paul Young), it’s my favorite book of the year, so far.”
She replied, “Boo, one question, ma-drama ba? I hate drama. Hehe… and I judge the book by their covers, coz they’re not people. ”
Healthy Siblings
During one conference chat session, Ate Richie (USA) told Ate Pam (Philippines), Ate Mimi (Japan) and me (Dubai), “Yang coffee n’yo bawas-bawasan n’yo. Alam n’yo bang coffee contains caffein. Tapos dapat once a day lang yun atmost. Saka ang sugar content ng coffee sobrang nakakataba. Kung pwede milk or tea na lang kayo.”
Ate Pam answered, “Kaya ako laging green tea lang.”
Ate Mimi has her own answer, “Di kaya ako nag ko-coffee.”
As a big coffee drinker myself I backlashed at them, “Wow! Mga health concious! Eh kung magsi-tigil kaya kayo sa kaka-yosi n’yo!”
